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| - (Mordecai and Rigby are at the Snack Bar, looking bored) Mordecai: Augh, this sucks. Rigby: What's that supposed to mean? Mordecai: It means that the next time we get to pick our job for the day, I get to pick. Why did you pick the Snack Bar? This is like the worst job at the park, dude! Rigby: I think it's the funnest job at the park. Mordecai: You don't really think that. You just don't want to admit that you're wrong. Rigby: Why would I admit something that I'm not? Mordecai: Dude, seriously, this is more boring than watching you trying to read a children's book. Rigby: Is it more boring than your face? Mordecai: I don't know, is it more boring than my fist in your face? Rigby: Is it more boring than my fist in your face, you turd! Mordecai: You're a turd! Rigby: No, you're a turd! Mordecai & Rigby: (Starts fighting) You're the turd! (Pops appears) Pops: Mordecai, Rigby, stop. We can all be turds! Mordecai & Rigby: (Start dusting themselves off) Oh, hey Pops. Pops: So, how do you like being the guardians of the snacks? Rigby: It's awesome. Mordecai: This place is lame. (Mordecai and Rigby start fighting again) Pops: But Mordecai, don't you like eating snacks for free? Mordecai: What? Pops: When I work here, all the snacks are free! Ta ta! (Walks away) Rigby: I guess this means I was right about the Snack Bar. Mordecai: Yeaa-uhh! Mordecai: I need to eat something healthy, like a salad or something. Rigby: What?! Are you kidding? Dude, all these snacks are free, dude. (Stops himself from vomiting) Trust me. If we keep eating, we'll feel better in no time. Mordecai: Oh, if we eat more, we'll feel better? Dude, quit being a loser. Rigby: Loser?! I don't know that I want to listen to the guy who was wrong about the Snack Bar being cool. No, I think I'd rather listen to the guy who's right all the time. ME. (Holds up a fried soda cup and takes a bite out of it) Mordecai: Augh! Sick! Rigby: Hmm. Hmm. (Grimaces in pain as his stomach rumbles) Mordecai: (Takes a bite of the salad) Ahh. I feel so much better. Rigby: (Who is next to a blender with a doughnut, candy, and other junk food inside) So do I. (He starts the blender, grinding all the junk food into goop. He then proceeds to drink it, grimacing in pain again as his stomach rumbles.) Mordecai: Dude, I'm telling you. If you keep eating like that, your body's gonna quit on you. Mordecai: Whatever. I'm just trying to help. (Walks out of the kitchen) Rigby: Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. I showed him. (Puts another doughnut in his mouth. A split second later, Rigby is rolling on the floor, groaning in pain) Why isn't more food working?! (Screams in pain, then picks up the doughnut next to him) One more should do it... (He suddenly drops the doughnut as he loses control of his hands) Huh?! (Rigby's hands grab his face, pull him to his feet, and drag him around the room. He smashes into a wall, then falls over the fallen chair. His hands then pull really hard, causing his eyes to roll back into his head and glow) What are you doing?! (His hands keep pulling, eventually ejecting Rigby as a green glob of consciousness with Rigby's eyes.) Rigby: Aww, let me back in! (His body pushes him away and runs off) Wait! Come back! (Tries to follow his body, but ends up inside a bucket on the floor) Ohhh... whatever! I'm just gonna chill in this bucket! Rigby: (Calling from the bucket) Mordecai! Mordecai! Mordecai: (Sees Rigby as the green glob) Aww, SICK! What the heck is that?! Rigby: Ha ha! Who's the loser now, Mordecai? Mordecai: Wait... Rigby?! Rigby: Dude, in your face! I was right! My stomach doesn't even hurt anymore. Mordecai: That's because you don't even have a BODY anymore! Dude, this is bad. Rigby: Yeah, bad like good! Now shovel some cheese curls into my trash hole! Mordecai: (Sighs, picks up the bucket) You better hope Skips knows how to fix this. Skips: What happened to his body? Mordecai: Dude, I don't know. It like, ditched him or something from eating too much junk food. Skips: Well, it looks like it's not that big of a deal, if he doesn't mind being a bodiless consciousness for the rest of his life. Rigby: It's cool, I don't mind. Mordecai: What?! No! Dude, quit being a loser. Rigby: Since when does being right make you a-- Mordecai: (Puts a lid on the bucket and sighs) Skips, what do we have to do? I can't let him stay like this. Skips: That's a bit tougher. Once the body departs, you only have till sunset to get it back. You know where it is? Mordecai: No. Skips: Hmm, then we have to find it. Let's go. Mordecai: (Walking out the door with Skips) We'll be right back, Rigby. Just stay here. Rigby: What? Where ya goin'? At least shovel some cheese curls into my trash hole. Guys? Guys? Rigby: (Moving the bucket with all his might, although bodiless; grunting) Ergghh!! Phew! I guess it is kinda harder to move around without my body. (Rigby then sees the hockey stick and roller skates, then comes up with an idea to move around easier) Skips: Shh. (Parts the bushes) Mordecai: (Whispering) What's it doing? Skips: Eating a salad. Rush him on the count of three. Mordecai: Okay. Skips: One....two.... Rigby: (Loudly) Hey, guys! What's up? Mordecai and Skips: No! Skips: (Points at Rigby) We told you to stay put! (Walks away) Mordecai: Ugh! Rigby, you scared it away! Rigby: Oh, don't worry about that! Remember how I said I don't need it? Well, I was right again! Dude, check it! (Wheels around as Mordecai watches in horror) It's a trash can and a roller blade. Mordecai: I can't believe you! Please, just stay put! (Walks away) Rigby: Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. All this being right is making me hungry. Muscle Man: This. Sucks! Wait, what is that? (Sees Rigby in the bucket, skating to the Snack Bar) Rigby: (Slams the Snack Bar door open) Gimme some snacks! Hi Five Ghost: (Scared) What are you?! Muscle Man: Looks like a bucket of diarrhea. Rigby: It's me, Rigby! Muscle Man: (Terrified) Oh, man! That boot with wheels stole Rigby's voice! Rigby: No, I didn't steal anything. Muscle Man: You're not stealing these voices. C'mon Five, let's bail! (They climb out of the Snack Bar and run off) Rigby: Come back! Muscle Man: No way, bro! Rigby: It's me, Rigby! (Trips on a rock) Aw, man. Skips: (Sniffs the salad) He's close. I'll take care of the body. You go find Rigby. We don't have much time. (The sun is shown over the building as Mordecai is looking for Rigby at the Snack Bar) Mordecai: Rigby! Rigby! Where is he? (Walks out of the Snack Bar. Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost walk up to him, armed with weapons; Muscle Man is carrying a bat and Hi Five Ghost is wearing a brass knuckle) Mordecai: Hey, have you guys seen Rigby? Muscle Man: No. Have you seen a magic garbage can? We need to beat the living- Mordecai: Magic garbage can? That was Rigby! Which way did he go? (Rigby is heard screaming; a few feet away, a trash collector is dumping Rigby into a garbage truck. He throws the skate-can back onto the ground) Mordecai: (Gasps) Rigby! Rigby: Help! Bodybuilder: No-one can hear you. Rigby: Who's there? Bodybuilder: Don't worry: just another bodiless consciousness. (Admires Rigby and rolls around him, talking) Woah! Hey, did you work out way too hard, too? Rigby: N-no. I ate too much junk food. Bodybuilder: Yep, that'll do it. Me? I was a bodybuilder. (We see a flashback of a huge, muscular man lifting weights at a gym) I could have gone pro. My friend kept telling me, (a pink blob morphs out of the basketball and starts speaking in angry, mocking tones) "If you keep pumpin' iron like that, your body's gonna quit on you!" I told him he was full of it! (Morphs back into the basketball) But I didn't get my bod' back in time and now look at me: stuck with a basketball for a body. Rigby: Yeah, well, my body's still good. Bodybuilder: Wait, your body's still good? Well, whatcha doin' in here, dummy? Rigby: I... Bodybuilder: You must not want it. Mind if I take it? Rigby: No! Bodybuilder: Don't worry, I'll find it. So long, sucka! Rigby: (Anguished) No!!! (Falls over, crying, but looks over to see the trash door open and Mordecai appear) Mordecai! You were right and I was wrong! (Still crying) I'm sorry for being such a loser. (Pitifully whining in a high voice) Please help me get my body back! Mordecai: Don't wory, dude. I think we can get it back in time. And even if we mess up, you've always got this! (Holds up the skate-can) Mordecai and Rigby: Ohhhhh!!! Rigby: But seriously, dude, I want my old body back. Mordecai: (Into two-way radio) Skips, I found Rigby. Skips: (Through radio) I found the body, but you'd better hurry. We got a problem. Bodybuilder: Body, you're worthless! (Slaps the body) I can't believe you can't do a simple clean and jerk! Rigby: Hey! What are you doin' with my body?! Bodybuilder: Oh, it's you! (Morphs back into Rigby's body) Whaddaya think? Pretty cool, huh? Rigby: No, not pretty cool. You dress me like a loser! Bodybuilder: (Flexes grossly) Aw, you don't like weightlifting singlets? No wonder your body left you. Oh well. Now it's not you anymore... (Flexes again) It's me! Rigby: Augh! Gimme back my body! Bodybuilder: Finders keepers. Mordecai: Skips! Skips: We tried it the nice way. Now we do it the Skips way. Bodybuilder: So long, suckers! Skips: He's too fast. Pops: Are you having a game of tag, turds? Skips: I really wish you wouldn't teach him those words. Skips: Pops, slide over. Rigby: I'll take it from here! Mordecai: Rigby! No! Skips: It's too steep. We'll have to go around. Rigby: Give me my body back! Bodybuilder: No! Get off me! Rigby: Get outta my body! Bodybuilder: No: you get outta the body, you worm! Bodybuilder: Aw, man, my mouth was open! Rigby: Dude, we did it! I got my body back! Mordecai: (Moans in disgust) Are you sure you still want it? Rigby: I'll never treat you like that again. Skips: Quick! Before the sun sets! Pops: (Eyes wide in wonder) Glorious. Mordecai: Dude. How do you feel? Rigby: (Pause) Aaaauuuggghhh! Rigby: Well Mordecai, I guess you were right about the Snack Bar being lame. Especially now that we're not into eating all the free snacks. Mordecai: Oh, about that. Those snacks weren't free. Rigby: What? Mordecai: Turns out only Pops gets snacks for free. Rigby: (Pitiful whine) Pops? Mordecai: Yeah. And I guess we're supposed to work here for the next six months just to pay for it all. Rigby: Awww, turds!
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