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| - The family and mediums are sitting in the living room later that night. The mediums have a bunch of equipment set up (speakers, microphones, drums, electric guitars, karaoke machines, etc). Ryan and Marty are getting ready to jam to "Smoke on the Water" when Old Mae comes into the room. Old Mae What the hell are you guys doin'?? Ryan Um...well, we were, er...trying to provoke the spirits! Yes, that's it! Right Marty? Marty (nodding head in agreement) Yes! Exactly! We know they love this song so we thought it would entice them to show themselves to us! Diane What the hell is that stuff?
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| abstract
| - The family and mediums are sitting in the living room later that night. The mediums have a bunch of equipment set up (speakers, microphones, drums, electric guitars, karaoke machines, etc). Ryan and Marty are getting ready to jam to "Smoke on the Water" when Old Mae comes into the room. Old Mae What the hell are you guys doin'?? Ryan Um...well, we were, er...trying to provoke the spirits! Yes, that's it! Right Marty? Marty (nodding head in agreement) Yes! Exactly! We know they love this song so we thought it would entice them to show themselves to us! Old Mae Hmmm...not a bad plan! Wait...that accountant is contacting me. (closes eyes What? You say they hate "Smoke on the Water?" If they play it the spirits will get so angry that they'll suck the house into the other realm? Alright, I'll tell them. (opens eyes) Sorry guys, but that's not going to work. Now put that junk away and get out the spirit-detecting gizmos. NOW! No I don't mean the gismo where Tom Cruise had body thetans! Marty and Ryan sadly begin packing up the band equipment, take it out the door and come back in with a bunch of unrecognizable machines that seem to be composed of bells, Tesla coils and record amplifiers. Diane What the hell is that stuff? Old Mae This is our professional EVP-Tracking Stereophonic Inter-Dimensional Para-Energy Amplifying Ecto-Translator 3000. It's for tracking, monitoring, manifesting and talking back and forth with spirit beings from the other dimension. Diane I see.... Steve recovers consciousness, rubs his head. Steve This is professional? Old Mae (Sigh) No actually not. This isn't a profession. There are no certificates or licenses to practice parapsychology. It's just something to do when we're bored. Marty connects the last of the cords into the outlet and Ryan switches the machine on. It begins humming and whistling loudly. Old Mae Oh yes!! Those are EVPs! Someone's trying to contact us! Suddenly Steve hears something, gets up from the floor and goes to answer the phone. Steve Hello? What? Oh, sorry. It's this Ecto-Amplifier Paradimensional Stereofuck thingie that these psychics brought into the house. (Calls into living room) The neighbors are contacting us, they want to know what all the racket is over here. Old Mae Aha. Machine suddenly stops whistling and humming. Marty Well at least we know it works! Steve comes back into room. Old Mae Well, I guess we should try contacting your daughter, huh? Diane Oh yes, definitely! (Cups hands to mouth) Carol Ann! Carol Ann! This is your mom calling! Can you hear us?
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