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Paul Russel is the representative of Satan (Staten?) on Earth, doomed to wander the land for eternity, spreading hatred and warmongery among the people of the world. He also plays a mean set of bagpipes, rumored to be a skill passed down from Scotistanian dictator Franklin O'Connor. Rumors of his exploits have been retold so often that they have become myth—Cain and Abel was originally Paul Russel and Abel; his hunting of the Great White Whale was immortalized in Moby Dick by Hermann Melvil, though in the novel the character based on him is killed—Russel is immortal; he reappeared in 1984 in New York, in the form of a giant marshmallow man, but he was defeated by a group of weird men with a catchy theme song; in 2552, he launched himself into space with the Bungie slingshot, defeated an al

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  • Paul Russel
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  • Paul Russel is the representative of Satan (Staten?) on Earth, doomed to wander the land for eternity, spreading hatred and warmongery among the people of the world. He also plays a mean set of bagpipes, rumored to be a skill passed down from Scotistanian dictator Franklin O'Connor. Rumors of his exploits have been retold so often that they have become myth—Cain and Abel was originally Paul Russel and Abel; his hunting of the Great White Whale was immortalized in Moby Dick by Hermann Melvil, though in the novel the character based on him is killed—Russel is immortal; he reappeared in 1984 in New York, in the form of a giant marshmallow man, but he was defeated by a group of weird men with a catchy theme song; in 2552, he launched himself into space with the Bungie slingshot, defeated an al
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abstract
  • Paul Russel is the representative of Satan (Staten?) on Earth, doomed to wander the land for eternity, spreading hatred and warmongery among the people of the world. He also plays a mean set of bagpipes, rumored to be a skill passed down from Scotistanian dictator Franklin O'Connor. Rumors of his exploits have been retold so often that they have become myth—Cain and Abel was originally Paul Russel and Abel; his hunting of the Great White Whale was immortalized in Moby Dick by Hermann Melvil, though in the novel the character based on him is killed—Russel is immortal; he reappeared in 1984 in New York, in the form of a giant marshmallow man, but he was defeated by a group of weird men with a catchy theme song; in 2552, he launched himself into space with the Bungie slingshot, defeated an alien horde, and sent himself back in time, selling the rights to his life story to his own company for millions. He has yet to see a penny of it. While many believe that a secret Cabal controls the world, less well known is that Paul Russel controls the Cabal. He has an odd fascination with New Zealand, likely fueled by his insatiable desire for kiwifruit and isolation in the Pacific.
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