Werthers original candies are a brand of candy that was originally created by satan in the year 1437AD in Germany. The company had difficulty at first as the european candy market had plummeted since the great Coca-Cola-Pepsi conflict of 14296AD. Satan nurtured the fledgling brand from its humble beginnings and then further into its humble days after its humble beginnings. In the early years, loosely defined as somewhere between the humble beginnings and the days after the humble beginnings, many children got bowel cancer from eating too many of the sweet sweet candies.