There was once a satyr named... Stan. Yeah. Anyway, Stan was very different from other satyrs. You see, he suffered from ED. This made all of the other satyrs, with their perpetual erections and abilities to balance cups of wine on said erections, to make fun of him constantly (think Rudolph, but not a bastardized mix of Judaism, Paganism, and Christianity). Even the satyr named Phil, the one who trained Hercules and had a penis so small it wasn't visible to the naked eye, was more popular than Stan.