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SHANTY CITY, North Korea -- Kim Jong Il was frustrated earlier today when he was asked to leave the local Hard Rock Cafe for flagrantly violating the "No Nuclear Weapons Allowed Inside" rule. Mr. Kim was apparently unfamilar with the longstanding policy, causing him to lose face among the people listening to Bohemian Rhapsody by the barThe unfortunate incident occurred during Mr. Kim's 29th birthday party (the latest of several 29th birthday parties for the beloved leader). While he was waiting by the bar for a seat closer to Keith Moon's drums, bartender Sheila McCort happened to notice the modified Teller-Ulam device he was carting along with him in a wheelbarrow.

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