Bill S. Preston, Esq. was born in San Dimas, California some time in 1971. The exact date is not known as he went back in time on several occasions and changed his birthdate so he could witness eighty-three birthdays in a row. His life was generally uneventful for eighteen full years which he filled with nothing more than occasionally attending school and soliciting in the parking lot of a Circle K. His family life was turbulent as his psychiatrist father divorced his Japanese prostitute birth-mother when Bill was eleven. Two years later his father re-married, this time to professional MILF Vanessa Sanders, daughter of Colonel Sanders and heir to the Kentuckistan Fried Chicken franchise. Bill made it through his schooling due to President Gerald Ford's "Retards are People Too" program whic