Dame Edna Everage, more commonly known as Damn Eddie Average is a half-man-half-woman television personality who was dubbed by Queen Elizabeth II in 300BC for being the world's oldest prostitute. She/he was born in Austria and rose to the position of Crown Princess. However, in 1788 she visited neighbouring Hungary and accidently caught a plane back to Australia where she was mistaken for Dame Nellie Melba (mistress of Lord Melbourne and anonymous inventor of the Peach Melba) and hailed as a great music hall entertainer and slut. She was successful in her early years, but now somewhat struggles to find sex with anyone nowadays, which is the reason why no one will ever see anyone that looks like Dame Edna while walking around a mall or park or public toilet. A few elderly men have attempted