The National Elf Service is the principal provider of elves and elfcare in the United Kingdom. Not to be confused with the National Health Service which is a bottomless pit of money set up by the UK government in the 1940s. It incorporates many different facets of elf provision, including public elf, mental elf,and longterm elfcare. Since it was formed, it has become an integral part of British society, as important as alcoholism (which it supports, this was a key feature of the Beverage Report which came up with the idea in the first place) and Jamie Oliver. Funded primarily by taxation, the NES is 'free at the point of the ears' for all citizens of the United Kingdom. Private elfcare does exist, but is only used by a small percentage of the population. With its centralised structure, the