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Paul Dacre became editor of the Daily Mail in 1893, three years before the paper was first published. Aside from a brief sojourn spent fighting communistic, black, leprous, lesbian gypsy immigrants in North London during the so-called Blair Wars (1997-present), Dacre has ruled over the newspaper throughout its history. A brief uprising against him by unknown perpetrators in 1976 was quelled using a counter-terrorism team consisting of re-animated SS members, Dementors and the Uruk-hai.

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