There are certain pies that Monty hates: strawberry rhubarb pie, a "diabolical confection" his Auntie Mildred forced down his throat on "birthdays, holiday, FRIDAYS" while she kept tapping her glass eye with a fingernail; apple crisp pie, an "unholy brew" his late father never got enough of at the pie shop night after night, driving his wife and son mad; kidney pie, a ration he and the rest of his battalion detested during his time in the National Service, in which he took part in digging trenches to prevent the great flood of 1961 from reaching the barracks; mince pie, which he never ate again after getting seasick; and blueberry pie, since he has hated blueberries the day the local bully Archibald Pennicot forced ten-year-old Monty to eat. One pie he loves, however, is the sort of baked