The only know way to get Baby Jesus and Baby Satan to hate you at the same time. You'll have to be a Terrorist_Bear_Leaders to stoop so low as to steal pie. If you've just stolen some pie, eat it quickly and enjoy it. Baby Jesus knows what you have done and under the Heavenly Pie Concord has tipped off Baby Satan on where to find you and he's going to drag your screaming, Ursine-loving arse down to the lowest pits in Hell where you'll spend the rest of eternity in pain that sicken Baby Satan himself. Do you reckon that stealing pie is worth it? Well do you punk?
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