About: Death to Mario, come in Mario   Sponge Permalink

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Mario will live for ever as Death has decided that he is not paid enough to try and claim Mario's soul. Mario once stared Death in the face, and won after Death blinked. Mario has stared Death in the face – at which point Death pulled out somebody else's hour-glass-like Life Timer from the folds of his midnight black robes, tapped it with a skeletal distal phalanx while appearing to scrutinise it with empty eye sockets set in a bony skull, said "You must excuse me, I have just remembered I have a Pressing Engagement elsewhere", leapt into the saddle of his magnificent white stallion Binky, and sped off and up into the cold night air. Mario does not expect to be renewing their acquaintance anytime soon – or possibly ever, to judge by some other Facts About Mario.

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  • Death to Mario, come in Mario
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  • Mario will live for ever as Death has decided that he is not paid enough to try and claim Mario's soul. Mario once stared Death in the face, and won after Death blinked. Mario has stared Death in the face – at which point Death pulled out somebody else's hour-glass-like Life Timer from the folds of his midnight black robes, tapped it with a skeletal distal phalanx while appearing to scrutinise it with empty eye sockets set in a bony skull, said "You must excuse me, I have just remembered I have a Pressing Engagement elsewhere", leapt into the saddle of his magnificent white stallion Binky, and sped off and up into the cold night air. Mario does not expect to be renewing their acquaintance anytime soon – or possibly ever, to judge by some other Facts About Mario.
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  • Mario will live for ever as Death has decided that he is not paid enough to try and claim Mario's soul. Mario once stared Death in the face, and won after Death blinked. Mario has stared Death in the face – at which point Death pulled out somebody else's hour-glass-like Life Timer from the folds of his midnight black robes, tapped it with a skeletal distal phalanx while appearing to scrutinise it with empty eye sockets set in a bony skull, said "You must excuse me, I have just remembered I have a Pressing Engagement elsewhere", leapt into the saddle of his magnificent white stallion Binky, and sped off and up into the cold night air. Mario does not expect to be renewing their acquaintance anytime soon – or possibly ever, to judge by some other Facts About Mario. (one for the Discworld fanfolk, there ;-) ) The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Mario goes to work for the Inland Revenue, they'll be the same thing. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. Mario will live for nine years without his head before he starves to death. In early December 1998, Mario met Jugthrub, a homeless hobgoblin juggling Jews for coppers outside the Arndale Centre in Manchester. Mario shooed away the filth, then remonstrated against anti-semetism, but it turned out Jugthrub took an ecumenical approach to street entertainment, variously bouncing Buddhists for baksheesh, chucking Catholics for coins, manipulating Muslims for moolah, pitching Pentecostals for pennies, slinging Sikhs for shekels, and tumbling Taoists for tuppences, one for every day of the week. Horrified, Mario took Jugthrub back with him to Warrington, sorted him out and now he's the chauffeur in the company Bentley. That winter, thirty three theist tramps froze to death on the streets of Manchester. Don't blame death on the Reaper. If he doesn't collect enough souls HE has to answer to Mario. In the year 3156 over 200 devout Marioastrians will be crushed to death during the annual Hajj to the birth place of the prophet in Warrington. The great prophet will then rise from the grave and restore each of the faithful to life. Mario died 10 years ago, Death's just too afraid to tell him. Mario has become death, the destroyer of worlds.
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